When one spouse indicates that a divorce is coming, especially if it comes as a surprise to the other spouse, things can quickly turn ugly. Hurt feelings can escalate into an atmosphere without rules, just like the “wild, wild west.” Frequently, the knee-jerk reaction to the rejection of a spouse is to drain the bank account, cut off the cell phone, or demand that the other spouse move out.
At times like this, it’s important to stop. Take a breath. And consult with an attorney about what should and shouldn’t be happening.
Can one spouse change the locks? Sure, but unless there’s a court order awarding temporary exclusive possession of a house to that spouse, the other spouse can hire a locksmith to key back in. Can one spouse drain a bank account? Sure, but all money that existed in that account will eventually need to be accounted for in the marital estate.
On the contrary, one spouse moving out of a house at the outset of a divorce does not mean that they are “abandoning” the house or their child. A family separating into two houses is a natural and normal part of a divorce, and it does not mean that the moving spouse does not want a relationship with their child or gives up their right to the house as marital property.
When a divorce is filed, either party can ask the court for a preliminary hearing to help resolve immediate issues while the legal case is pending, such as temporary possession of a house, payment of bills, and custody and support of a child. However, there’s no requirement for divorcing couples to have a hearing at all, so if they can work things out at the kitchen table or through attorneys, that’s great. If not, a preliminary hearing and resulting court order can give the parties the “rules of the road” until the divorce is final.
Both parties should be mindful to not agree to an unworkable temporary situation, as a divorce can take months, if not longer to conclude. While both parties staying in the marital residence can save on living expenses, if there is too much conflict and anger occurring, it’s unworkable. If one spouse agrees to pay for all expenses for the house and their new apartment but has to take a pay cut, it can upend even the best laid plans.
If you’re considering divorce, talk with a Wanzer Edwards attorney about all your options to help set the right tone for the period while your divorce is pending, while still protecting your assets, and your peace.
