Did you ever read a Greek drama in English class?  If so, you are probably familiar with the Greek Chorus.  The Greek Chorus is a group of actors who stand off to the side of the action near the edge of the stage.  While they never participate in the action of the play itself, they provide frequent narration and comment on what other characters are going through.  The Greek Chorus has been known to judge, suggest or comment negatively on the action occurring near them even though they experience none of the consequences.

If you are going through a divorce it is likely that you have a Greek Chorus in your own life.  In this day and time, it would be odd if you didn’t know someone who has been divorced, or has had a child support or custody matter.  As an expression of their caring for you, these people often want to chime in and provide unsolicited advice to you about what is going on in your divorce.  Sometimes these people can be very helpful to you, giving you advice and reminding you that there is an “after” to this process and you will get through it too.  However, sometimes, your friends/neighbors/relatives had a very different case from your case, so their advice is only based on what happened to THEM, not to you.  They often have the very best of intentions.  However, more often than not, this “Greek Chorus” only serves to cause you more stress during an already stressful time by providing incorrect or confusing information.

No two cases will have the same outcome, so trying to compare your case to anyone else’s will only cause you frustration and confusion.  You may hear about something that your friend/neighbor/relative did in his or her case and will wonder, “Why isn’t my attorney doing that?”  It’s probably because that isn’t what your attorney would recommend in YOUR case or it does not apply to the facts of your case.  Your attorney represents you, and you are one of a kind.  There are no hard and fast “cookie cutter” solutions for you and your family.  That’s why your attorney will customize her representation for each and every client, and hope that you will trust her to try to provide you with choices of the best possible outcomes available to you.

Going through a divorce is tough, and you will need emotional support.  By all means get support from the caring people in your life.  You can also consider speaking with a divorce coach or therapist about how you’re feeling and how you can work through this transition in your life.  But for legal advice and decisions, listen to the advice of your attorney.

author avatar
Holly Wanzer Attorney
Ms. Wanzer is a founding attorney of Wanzer Edwards, P.C. where she focuses her practice in family law and divorce, including collaborative law, family mediation, parenting coordination, appeals and representation of children as a guardian ad litem. Ms. Wanzer earned her Juris Doctor summa cum laude from the Indiana University Robert McKinney School of Law. She graduated magna cum laude from Ball State University, earning her Bachelor of Science degree in English and advertising.