When kids are living part of the week with Mom and part of the week with Dad, parenting time exchanges become a normal part of life. Unfortunately, these exchanges can end up being the place where kids witness their parents acting badly toward one another. Consider the following procedures to keep your parenting time exchanges peaceful:
- Keep communication between parents to a minimum. A parenting time exchange is the time for your kids to move from one living space to the next. It is not the time to try to discuss issues with your co-parent, exchange documents or payments, or hash out issues related to why you and your ex split up. Always keep in mind that parenting exchanges belong to the children and are not yours. While a pleasant greeting to your co-parent is okay, leave it at that.
- Stay inside whenever possible. Once kids reach a certain age, they are capable of exiting the house, carrying a bag, and getting into a car by themselves. The parent picking up a child should, whenever possible, stay in the car. The parent whose parenting time is ending should, whenever possible, stay in the house. This minimizes the chance that there could be an unpleasant interaction in full view of your child.
- Be on time. While parenting time exchanges become a normal part of post-divorce life, they are still an interruption in whatever parents and kids were doing. Be respectful of everyone’s time by showing up on time. Repeatedly being late causes conflict and can stress out your kids who know that everyone is annoyed.
- Notify when using an alternate driver. The Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines acknowledge that sometimes you will need a little help with a parenting time exchange. If you are stuck in traffic or having car trouble, it’s okay to ask Grandma to complete your pick up of the kids. When this happens, let your co-parent know to expect someone other than you at the exchange. Also make sure that your alternate driver is a responsible adult known to your kids. Parents who are ending their parenting time should keep in mind that an alternate driver showing up does not justify you refusing to send your kids out the door, even if you don’t get along with the alternate driver.
Your kids will remember all kinds of things from childhood and one of them will be how their divorced parents acted when they were in the same place at the same time. During parenting time exchanges it is time to suck it up and at least pretend to be peaceful. Even if you feel something different, model respectful and appropriate behavior for your kids. They are watching closely.
