Sole legal custody grants to one parent the right and responsibility to make decisions about a child’s health education and religion without first obtaining the agreement of the other parent. While joint legal custody has become more common than sole legal custody in the last few decades, more and more judges are questioning whether reflexively ordering joint legal custody is the right move for all families. There are a number of reasons why tasking one parent with making decisions about a child’s health, education, and religion works well in some families. If your court order grants sole legal custody to one parent, it’s important to remember that this is not intended to keep one parent in the know and the other parent in the dark.

Part of the responsibility of making these child-related decisions is the duty to communicate with the other parent. A parent tasked with the final say in a decision does not operate in a vacuum. When a medical, education, or religious decision comes up, it is always best to reach out to the other parent to first inform about the issue and second to gather the other parent’s thoughts. While the parent tasked with the decision has the final say, both parent’s thoughts are valuable. Once a decision is made, it should be communicated to the other parent, as should details about how and when the decision is being implemented.

For instance, if a child is diagnosed with a medical condition for which medication is recommended, the parent with sole legal custody should inform the other parent, listen to the other parent’s thoughts on the issue, inform the other parent what decision has been made and provide information and instructions on how, when, and in what manner the medication is to be dispensed if that is the decision made. Since both parents spend time with the child and will likely be responsible for ensuring that the medication is taken properly, it is crucial to keep both parents in the loop.

Resist the urge to use a grant of sole legal custody as a weapon. Just because ethe court has entrusted you to make certain decisions does not mean that the court views the other parent as less important in raising a child. Failure to keep your co-parent informed can come back to bite you next time you are in court and can also make your co-parenting relationship difficult. Also remember that not all parenting decisions are related to health, education, and religion. Most daily parenting decisions get made by the on duty parent and not the sole legal custodian.