A Parenting Coordinator (PC for short) is appointed by a court to help high conflict parents implement their court orders regarding custody, parenting time, and other child-related issues. Sometimes only one parent wanted a PC to be appointed, and the other parent opposed it. If you were the parent who opposed the appointment, it can be tempting to refuse to cooperate with the PC, but is that a good idea?

First, remember that the PC was assigned by the judge in your case with a court order. Read that order carefully to see if it instructs you to take certain steps to get the PC process going or if it instructs you to cooperate with the PC. Chances are that your order does give you instructions in addition to giving your PC his or her marching orders. Failing to follow instructions given to you by the court is never a good idea and can come with serious consequences. The court which assigned a PC to your case still has jurisdiction over you, and in addition to finding you in contempt and punishing you with fines or even jail time, that court will make future decisions about your parenting plan. Don’t give away your credibility with the court in order to make the point that you did not want a PC.

If you have concerns about how a PC will work with you and your co-parent, make a list of questions prior to your first meeting with the PC. It is perfectly acceptable to bring to the PC your concerns about the process or questions you have about how things will work. Remember that the PC is a professional assigned to do a job, and he or she will be willing to answer your questions or concerns.

Also resist the urge to refuse to answer the PC when he or she reaches out to you to address a parenting concern raised by your co-parent. While it is normal for PCs to seek perspective and opinions from both parents before making a decision, if a parent fails to answer or cooperate, the PC can simply move forward with a decision which will impact your co-parenting relationship. Binding Recommendations filed by a PC have the force of a court order when adopted by the court. If you disagree with the PC’s decision, consider how damaging it will be to your position in court when the court learns that you refused to participate with the PC as he or she tried to gather information.

PCs are often assigned to a case for a specified period of time. If you were right that a PC would not be helpful, address that with your attorney as the PC’s term is coming to a close. In the meantime, be open to the possibility that you may find it useful to have a professional who is available quickly to help with day-to-day parenting struggles that you and your co-parent are having trouble solving by agreement.