Most parents are well-informed when it comes to the BIG holidays and school breaks, such as birthdays, Christmas/Winter Break, and summer. But sometimes “lesser” holidays that are designated in the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines (“IPTG”) can sneak up on you, especially if your children get a 3-day weekend and you would normally have to work. For example, President’s Day. This is an entire weekend per the IPTG, not just the day. What happens if the weekend comes and goes, and you didn’t realize it?

First, let’s check the language of the IPTG. The guidelines provide that:

Parenting time is both a right and a responsibility, and scheduled parenting time shall occur as planned. Both parents are jointly responsible for following the parenting time orders.

Whenever there is a need to adjust the established parenting schedules because of events outside the normal family routine or the control of the parent requiring the adjustment, the parent who becomes aware of the circumstance shall notify the other parent as far in advance as possible. Recurring events which may require an adjustment, such as military drill obligations or annual work obligations, should be communicated as soon as those scheduled events are published. Both parents shall then attempt to reach a mutually acceptable adjustment to the parenting schedule.

. . .

“Make-up” parenting time is intended to help maintain a parent-child relationship, while taking into consideration everyday life demands. “Make-up” parenting time may not be used routinely due to a parent’s failure to plan in advance, absent a true emergency.

[Emphasis added.]

Failing to exercise your parenting time because you forgot is not a situation that would trigger make-up parenting time. The parenting time was missed due to a failure to plan in advance, and unless it was a true emergency, it is forfeited. BOTH parents, not just the parent who missed his or her time had a responsibility to ensure that parenting time occurred. The IPTG recommend that parents create a yearly parenting time calendar so that the schedule is clear. This can be in a Word document, on a Google calendar, or a parenting app such as Our Family Wizard. When the parent who was supposed to begin his/her parenting time did not show up, the other parent should have reached out to ensure that no emergency had occurred. It might have been possible to begin parenting time later that evening, or the following morning, rather than missing the entire 3-day weekend. Failing to say anything to the parent who forgot is an unnecessary “gotcha.” Both parents should extend one another grace in this situation and reach out immediately so that there is no interruption to the child’s schedule. If either parent fails to appear for a parenting time exchange, a call or message should occur that same day to get back on track.

Want to work on a yearly parenting plan for you and your co-parent? Contact Wanzer Edwards for more information.